for the lulz

I write poetry, sometimes, which is news to most of you, if not all of you...
this one i am posting because i had my best friend choose ten words from that list of 200 words that Mr. House gave to us in 11th grade. i then wrote a poem with those ten words in it.
so here it is:



The Passage of Time

Straying out of thought and time,
The limitless expanse lying cold and bare before.
The silver film of reality rolled back
And all is silence.

Straying and drifting, all of time in one ––
Space but clay in the hands of the mason.
A fever and a passion for the work at hand;
The beauty of a creation come to life,
Such a beauty that is only known once.
Its fleeting existence like a rose in the sun,
Here today and tomorrow wilted.

And yet there is hope for something far improved,
More beautiful and radiant by far.
Existence remolded, reshaped and reborn.
This plane made new.
Not more of want or need.
The useless things of this world behind.
The fifteen minutes of fame
And the boxes of meaningless things;
Houses laid out in rows and streets of black gold.
What more use is there for that?
For law and rule, for toil and strife?

Gone. Gone and far away.
Nearer to that desolate and bereft planet
Never would I wish to be.
Here instead, laughing anew and joy withal,
Pleasure that could not be found before.
Not more that I want save that -
To stand in the light transformed.






--as always

The people that you knew

the things that touch us through out our lives... very strange indeed, the things that we remember; things that are said, things that we do, or others do... the people we meet, or fall in love with, or the people that die, or the person that you pass all the time but never really speak to...

it's funny how something so minute can change the course of one's life. some might even be so bold as to call it strange, but for me: it is not so strange. my life has turned on a dime before. someone has said something and their words strike me like a baseball bat, or maybe it's the way that someone acts, or the presence a person has... something that i admire, or despise. these things can change the way i perceive myself, or the way that i wish others to perceive me.

have you ever been just sitting somewhere and been thinking, dwelling on some random event, or ruminating on things gone past... when out of seemingly no where, something that someone once said enters your mind? or maybe it's the way that someone acted, a look they gave you, a smile, a raise of the eyebrow... a turn of phrase that was unique to that person, or a cunning and sarcastic comment... sometimes these things happen to me. i don't always have to be thinking about anything, sometimes a random memory is triggered by the smallest of things.

recently it has been small things, odd things... from people who were, or are, barely part of my life. a girl who sat behind me in art history class, a look given to me by a coworker, something i used to do as a child...

it's hard to know how the people that you encounter are going to affect you, even if it's just something that they say...


--as always

In the end

Well, lots of changes are going on... i suppose you could call it that: changes. i decided i hate my handwriting, so i chose something new, something different and better.

someone, in essence, told me that i don't talk about things (my day/week, myself, life... etc) or talk much at all, really.... now that i think about it... so i am going to try very hard... very very hard.... because i find it so very difficult to share things. but i will make a conscious effort, both in typed from and in vocal form to share.

i have a job that i am settling into. i am trying to balance home life and work life and personal life and church and school and sleep (when i can find it)... it's been quite a chore... but i think i've mostly got the hang of it. just give me one more week and i think i'll have it down.

i think that i use too much slang... i shall be trying to use better words (if you will) in my speech... i don't know how long this will last... but i'm going to try. if it bothers you, let me know.



now, to matters of state:
my room is an absolute wreck because i have not been home and/or awake for more than two hours at any given moment on any given day for a week; and one of those two hours is spent at dinner or working on homework... but not to worry, because tonight i am not going to sleep and i shall right the whole situation.

in other news, i was looking at my keyboard and i realized that i only press the space bar with my right thumb. this has caused a smooth spot to form from wear on the space bar in the particular spot where my thumb usually rests or hits. i found this amusing, but not surprising.


Well, i cant promise that what i say won't be boring, and the content or how i say it might be cryptic (that's just my nature), but i can say that i will make a conscious effort to communicate more. and in the end, it's the thought that counts, right?



--as always

there must be something wrong with me

there must be something wrong with me...
maybe i should stop drinking Mountain Dew when i dont need to...

people must think i'm nuts... good thing i dont live on a busy street... or maybe its not a good thing...

i feel like i almost never sleep anymore.

on the up-side, i've had a lot of time to clean... not that i really have, but its the thought that counts, right?
maybe i should read a book... after all, i did go and get a whole bunch of new books today from Barnes and Noble. :)
i do so love books



watched a B-movie today... it was one of the worst movies i have ever seen... complete with tons and tons of racial cliches.... i had a hearty lol at the horrid-ness and ate popcorn. :)


...
...
...
why am i still awake??
and... i'm all out of open Mountain Dew... D:


--as always

The luck of the Irish

so... today is St. Patrick's day, for all of you who didn't know. but with all of the green, it's hard not to know...

background story:
conversations were had and discussions of happiness and/or involvement and/or "why do you hate holidays?" ensued...

today:
decided to take a chance, embrace a holiday, have fun with it...
wore green, smiled, spoke in an Irish accent (why not, right), ended up only using the accent for half the day...



decision:
...........screw that.
holiday's suck. i don't really want to be that involved. i don't like or look good in holiday themed clothes, nor do i ever want to wear holiday themed clothes (not like i own any...)
also, i didn't feel any happier...
taking chances has seemed to have a large downside for me this past year... huh. go figure




--as always

I just haven't met you yet

"Haven't Met You Yet" by Michael Buble

"I'm not surprised not everything lasts
I've broken my heart so many times
I stopped keeping track
Talk myself in, I talk myself out
I get all worked up, then I let myself down

I tried so very hard not to lose it
I came up with a million excuses
I thought I thought of every possibility

And I know someday that it'll all turn out
You'll make me work
So we can work to work it out
And I promise you, kid
That I'll give so much more than I get
I just haven't met you yet

I might have to wait, I'll never give up
I guess it's half timing and the other half's luck
Wherever you are, whenever it's right
You'll come out of nowhere and into my life

And I know that we can be so amazing
And baby, your love is gonna change me
And now I can see every possibility

But somehow I know that it'll all turn out
And you'll make me work
So we can work to work it out
And I promise you, kid
I'll give so much more than I get
I just haven't met you yet

They say all's fair in love and war
But I won't need to fight it
We'll get it right and we'll be united

And I know that we can be so amazing
And being in your life is gonna change me
And now I can see every single possibility

And someday I know it'll all turn out
And I'll work to work it out
Promise you, kid, I'll give more than I get
Than I get, than I get, than I get

You know it'll all turn out
And you'll make me work
So we can work to work it out
And I promise you, kid
To give so much more than I get
I just haven't met you yet

I just haven't met you yet

Promise you, kid
To give so much more than I get

(I said love, love, love, love)
(love, love, love, love)
I just haven't met you yet
(love, love, love, love)
(love, love, love, love)


I just haven't met you yet"




This is one of my favorite Michael Buble songs.
Also- i think he might be irish...


--as always

Happy March

happy march, everyone. the wonderful month of the color green, and the start of spring.

the weather has been fantastic these past few days (well, except for that day with all the rain) and i cant wait to break out my shorts and my skirts. :)

maybe this month has more in store for me than i had originally thought. i guess we'll just have to find out.


--as always