And them good old boys were drinkin' whiskey and rye

more like song of the week...

"American Pie" by Don McLean

"A long, long time ago... I can still remember
How that music used to make me smile
And I knew that if I had my chance,
That I could make those people dance
And, maybe, they'd be happy for a while.

But February made me shiver
With every paper I'd deliver.
Bad news on the doorstep;
I couldn't take one more step.

I can't remember if I cried
When I read about his widowed bride,
But something touched me deep inside
The day the music died.

So bye-bye, miss American pie
Drove my Chevy to the levee
But the levee was dry;
And them good old boys were drinkin' whiskey and rye,
Singin' this'll be the day that I die.

Did you write the book of love,
And do you have faith in God above,
If the Bible tells you so?
Do you believe in rock n roll,
Can music save you mortal soul,
And can you teach me how to dance real slow?

Well, I know that you're in love with him
'cause I saw you dancin' in the gym.
You both kicked off your shoes.
Man, I dig those rhythm and blues.

I was a lonely teenage broncin' buck
With a pink carnation and a pickup truck,
But I knew I was out of luck
The day the music died.

I started singin'
Bye-bye, miss American pie
Drove my Chevy to the levee
But the levee was dry;
Them good old boys were drinkin' whiskey and rye,
And singin' this'll be the day that I die.
This'll be the day that I die.

Now for ten years we've been on our own
And moss grow fat on a rollin' stone,
But that's not how it used to be.
When the jester sang for the king and queen,
In a coat he borrowed from James Dean
And a voice that came from you and me.

Oh, and while the king was looking down,
The jester stole his thorny crown.
The courtroom was adjourned;
No verdict was returned.
And while Lennon read a book on Marx,
The quartet practiced in the park,
And we sang dirges in the dark
The day the music died.

We were singing,
Bye-bye, miss American pie
Drove my Chevy to the levee
But the levee was dry;
Them good old boys were drinkin' whiskey and rye,
And singin' this'll be the day that I die.
This'll be the day that I die.

Helter skelter in a summer swelter.
The birds flew off with a fallout shelter,
Eight miles high and falling fast.
It landed foul on the grass.
The players tried for a forward pass,
With the jester on the sidelines in a cast.

Now the half-time air was sweet perfume
While the sergeants played a marching tune.
We all got up to dance.
Oh, but we never got the chance!
'cause the players tried to take the field;
The marching band refused to yield.
Do you recall what was revealed
The day the music died?

We started singing,
Bye-bye, miss American pie
Drove my Chevy to the levee
But the levee was dry;
Them good old boys were drinkin' whiskey and rye,
And singin' this'll be the day that I die.
This'll be the day that I die.

Oh, and there we were all in one place,
A generation lost in space
With no time left to start again.
So come on: Jack be nimble, Jack be quick!
Jack Flash sat on a candlestick
'cause fire is the Devil's only friend.

Oh, and as I watched him on the stage
My hands were clenched in fists of rage.
No angel born in hell
Could break that Satan's spell.
And as the flames climbed high into the night
To light the sacrificial rite,
I saw Satan laughing with delight
The day the music died.

He was singing,
Bye-bye, miss American pie
Drove my Chevy to the levee
But the levee was dry;
Them good old boys were drinkin' whiskey and rye,
And singin' this'll be the day that I die.
This'll be the day that I die.

I met a girl who sang the blues
And i asked her for some happy news,
But she just smiled and turned away.
I went down to the sacred store
Where I'd heard the music years before
But the man there said the music wouldn't play.

And in the streets: the children screamed,
The lovers cried, and the poets dreamed.
But not a word was spoken;
The church bells all were broken.
And the three men I admire most:
The Father, Son, and the Holy Ghost,
They caught the last train for the coast
The day the music died.

And they were singin'
Bye-bye, miss American pie
Drove my Chevy to the levee
But the levee was dry;
Them good old boys were drinkin' whiskey and rye,
And singin' this'll be the day that I die.
This'll be the day that I die.

They were singing,
Bye-bye, miss American pie
Drove my Chevy to the levee
But the levee was dry;
Them good old boys were drinkin' whiskey and rye,
Singin' this'll be the day that I die."


i find this song really interesting and i have had it in my head every day when i woke up so far this week. that may have something to do with the fact that it is in the playlist that i have been listening to, but the fact that this song, of the 25 songs that i have in that same playlist, has been the one to be in my head i find rather interesting.

listening to and reading over these lyrics i find that i believe more and more that Don McLean had a pretty good sense of humor, after all, several of these lines are muliveiled in meaning and when listened to could be two or more different things... take the line about Lennon reading a book on Marx for instance... it could be either Lennon from the Beatles or Lenin from Russia reading a book on Marx... now, in retrospect, this is rather humorous, in a special sort of light...

anyways, i suppose i should say something about how i feel like this song is perfect for how i am feeling or how i feel that this song totally describes my week, but in all honesty... i don't really have any clue why this is the song that is stuck in my head... and its not even the whole song... its the lines: "Helter skelter in a summer swelter" and "So come on: Jack be nimble, Jack be quick! Jack Flash sat on a candlestick" ... now if you can tell me how those two very separate lines have anything to do with this week, then well, you know more than i do...

so, to wrap things up for this 'song of the day' i just want to say that i think that they should have this song on rock band or something if they don't already, because it is amazing and i love it and i have had it stuck in my head for a week, so yeah...

--as always

Thanks

ok, well... today was rough, maybe not as rough as yesterday, for obvious reasons... but still. Let's see, word count: maybe two, most likely: zero... ah, well, this too shall pass... as my mom always says. i guess it's good just to let things settle. like when you shake a soda and then let it sit so that it doesn't explode.

i am working on it. that's all i can say, and to those who i have talked to, you understand all the implications of that, and to those of you who have no idea... well, don't feel bad but you don't really need to know, no offense or anything. that's just the way it is.

alright... so despite the fact that i have had a little less than two hours of sleep, i feel remarkably well, physically. and, to my own astonishment, i am having no difficulty spelling, or at least i don't think i am... oh well, the spell check helps... i guess what i am trying to say is: thanks for all your concern, it really means a lot to me. i wanted to just send out a few thanks. Nikki, you overall are the greatest, followed closely by Sara, Grace and Jew. I love you guys so much and i want you to all know that i am breathing, if there were ever a better word. lol. Nikki will understand that above all.

Nikki. what can i say. you know me better than my parents do, which is sad, cuz they're my parents, but that's the way its worked out. i am so grateful for you and all that you do for me. you above all the other circle members know what i deal with and what i go through. you know my quirks and you know my tendencies. you and i both know that there are a thousand things that i am not directly saying right now, and i know that you understand most all of them. i am really grateful that you are there, even if its just to listen. thanks

Sara! you can always help brighten my mood. and i know that its been hard to do so recently, but all i can say is: you rock. i know we don't really talk about it, well... let me rephrase that... i know that you don't really talk about it, but you always listen to my issues. even when you don't want to, so thanks. know that i will gladly return the favor anytime, no joke.

Gracie, i love you so much. we have known each other for so long and sometimes i feel like we have unspoken conversations. you can read me like a book after all these years... (and i think that part of that stems from the fact that you knew me before i went into the practice of masking the way i feel, so you can still pick up on the base signals, lol) but you are such a good friend and i appreciate your willing heart to help me with anything. i have much love for you, gracie, much love.

Jew. more than words can say... you are amazing. you don't even have to say anything and that is enough for me. i seem to remember just standing there with you, in the wind, on ave m-8, balling my eyes out... thanks for that. i don't know what else to say but thank you, from the bottom of my heart.

I also want to add a big thanks of support to Woody and Dakota, i know you two aren't really involved in my life in the way that some others are, but i wanted to say that i really appreciate the way that i can talk to both of you, about anything.

Woody, i really appreciate the fashion of our dialogue. i have beat around the bush and avoided topics in many conversations and in most areas of my life when i don't really want to talk about it, but we always have the most blunt and open conversations and i don't mind talking to you about anything, whether i really feel like it or not. so, thanks.

Dakota. you are another one i have known for a while, the funny thing is, ...well, maybe not so funny... but you have seen my ugly side, or at least parts of it. i'm sure you remember some of the things we did way back when, when i used to hang with sav and ashley (shudder)... sorry about some of that... the sad part is that i was ten times worse when i was away from her... anyways, truth is, i am really glad i got to know you better and i am really glad that we are friends (plus, you are... there isnt even a number... times a better friend than she ever was) i appreciate your input on many things... and even considering... i still owe you one. no lies, i keep my oaths.

and finally i am brought to Paige...
Paige, what can i say to you that you most likely don't already know? heck, you guessed about alex when i was still keeping it on the DL... you are my silent support, which means just as much as any of the others. all those time that you just let me chill at your place, and you keep me in check... i am reminded of a time recently, which still makes me smile, when you, taylor and i were sitting at your table and you were silently mocking me from the seat across the table... ah what laughs... thanks for being you.

to all the rest of the circle, you all rock too. your presence is enough to keep me on solid ground. i am here for all of you, no matter what. thanks



... and to you. i know that we aren't really talking right now, but i want you to know that i'm ok, really. you are where you are and i am where i am... and that's ok, we'll all float on, right? we deal with things in different ways, you bury yourself in music and i bury myself in the written word and we deal. ...i know that things are still a bit odd, and jumbled, and confusing right now... or at least they are for me... but i know it'll get better.



--as always.

alright, so it 3am and i've been awake now for a while... what have i been doing? oh, i don't know... this and that... talkin to smity over msn, cuz neither of us sleeps, not really anyway....

also, i've really been thinkin. just thinkin, mulling things over and what not...

don't really know what to make of things anymore... we all move on, right? that's funny, now i am reminded of a song. one of my favorite songs... a billy joel song, so you know it's good, but that's a story for another time.

i often find that i put on an act. i play a part; my role, as it were... well, let's just say that i'm gonna try to put the script down. it's already won me enough trouble in life these past six to eight years. so here we go...