Valentine's day has an odd connotation for me... i don't think that i have had a 'good,' or non-awkward, Valentine's day in several years. the last good Valentine's day that i can remember was when i was a little kid and i was out looking for plastic eggs full of candy.
yesterday i went to a Valentine's dance with the campus ministries from our churches in the area. it was fun. i danced and all... the conversations i had with my date made me a bit sad, though. we both agreed that we don't have an interest in anyone in our church at the moment and we both agreed, upon looking at all the couples, that we didn't think that a relationship with someone who didn't want to leave the valley was not a great idea.
not only do i agree with all of these things that we spoke of, but i am not ready for a relationship still. plus, my life is so complicated right now. almost beyond belief... i'm just trying to keep my head above water. i've been having these dreams about drowning...or dreams with lots of water, anyways... i've been avoiding sleep because of them. power naps have become my friends.
i spent today down in Long Beach. i guess it was better than being at home. another Valentine's day spent with my parents... at least this year it wasn't a date. lol
for all of you who hope. remember: breathe
--as always
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