Saying things no words could ever do

"Hold My Heart" by Sara Bareilles

"I never meant to be the one to let you down
If anything I thought I saw myself going first
I didn't know how to stick around
How to see anybody but me be getting hurt

I keep remembering the summer night
And the conversation breaking up the mood
I didn't want to tell you you were right
Like the season changing, oh, I felt it too

Does anybody know
How to hold my heart
How to hold my heart
'Cause I don't want to let go, let go, let go
Too soon

I want to tell you so
Before the sun goes dark
How to hold my heart
'Cause I don't want to let go, let go, let go
Of you
Hey

I'm not the kind to try to tell you lies
But the truth is you've been hiding from it too
I see the end sneaking in behind your eyes
Saying things no words could ever do

Does anybody know
How to hold my heart
How to hold my heart
'Cause I don't want to let go, let go, let go
Too soon

I want to tell you so
Before the sun goes dark
How to hold my heart
'Cause I don't want to let go, let go, let go
Of you

Is anybody listening
'Cause I'm crying
Is anybody listening

Does anybody know
How to hold my heart
How to hold my heart
'Cause I don't want to let go, let go, let go
Too soon

I want to tell you so
Before the sun goes dark
How to hold my heart
'Cause I don't want to let go, let go, let go
Of you

Does anybody know
How to hold my heart
How to hold my heart
'Cause I don't want to let go, let go, let go
Too soon

I want to tell you so
Before the sun goes dark
How to hold my heart
'Cause I don't want to let go, let go, let go
I don't want to let go, let go of you
I don't want to let go"



This song makes me feel sad.  It also makes me really grateful for Hunter.  I know that when Hunter and I get into a fight or a disagreement we always try to work it out.  We don't walk away or give up on each other.  I know that he loves me and that he knows how to love me, and I know that he knows I love him and I know how to love him.  It's also a wonderful thing that we can continue to grow in that area, of learning and knowing how to love each other.

I've been having a lot of bad dreams lately, in most of them something happens to Hunter or to both of us and I end up losing him in some way, or almost losing him.  The images are so strong that I wake up and can almost still see them.  This song also reminds me about how I feel: that I don't want to lose Hunter and I don't want to let go of him.



--as always